Sunday, August 31, 2008

Twilight Travails part III: the good, the bad and the ugly

I'll freely admit, I expected to be blogging about this book for longer than I have been. But I finished it Thursday night and really haven't had time to sit down and write my final thoughts before I move on to New Moon. Why is this surprising? I didn't expect to read it as fast as I did.

Here's the unfortunate truth: I actually enjoyed parts of the book. Yes, I know - shame on me. So, here goes. The good, the bad, the ugly and the final analysis.

The same as last time; not-so-sequential bullet points.

The Good
  • Meyer wrote a fast, engaging book. The writing wasn't terrific, but I've certainly read worse. It's her style, both in terms of technical voice and in storytelling mode that surprised me a bit. Taken apart with every literary skill I have, Twilight is self-insert Mary Sue vampire fanfiction - which just goes to prove my theory that fanfiction is a literary genre.


  • Meyer managed to do something I haven't seen done in well before, which is to take a story from a placid, fluffy idyll to action-adventure/suspense in the space of a few paragraphs. She set the scene in the ball field, creating a very surreal feel with the storm and the ball game as a backdrop to Bella's wonder and awe - and later, fear. The arrival of James' coven was sudden and expected at the same time and both well-written and well-told.


  • The Cullens. The scene where I got really hooked into the story was when Bella met the Cullens. They are cool enough to get their own sub-list and quite a bit of thought.

    • On family: the Cullens work as a family for several reasons. The first is obvious - the care they have for each other, which I think is founded both in their shared ethics and their 'conversion' stories. (I hesitate to use the word 'embrace' because it's proprietary to White Wolf gaming.

      One thing I've heard criticized is how fast the rest of the family takes to Bella - but I disagree with that. Their reactions to Bella are exactly what jumped out at me about them. Instead of 1) eating her or 2) getting mad about her, they chose Edward's happiness over their own comfort. (Yes, even Rosalie - but more on her later.) If you live with someone long enough, and are close enough to them, you can notice significant changes. The change Edward's connection/relationship with Bella wrought was obvious and dramatic, giving them good reason to open their family to her.

    • Esme didn't impress me much at first, but the more I looked at her, the more I got a feeling quiet, understated strength. The kind of emotional strength it takes to keep such a diverse lot together as a family. She's the glue and the heart - she's a mother, through and through. Her acceptance of Bella and her obvious affection towards Edward show that much clearly.


    • Rosalie: Some people didn't like or understand her reaction to Bella and Edward, but her reaction made perfect sense. Bella is 1) a threat to her family's dynamic and 2) a possible threat to their safety. If Bella gets hurt, Edward gets hurt - she's also (as is proved later) a giant target for other vampires. Rosalie's reaction is one of anger and fear - but still of love for her family. And after the whole series of events with James, I'm not sure I can blame her for still being angry at/about Bella. Yet, when things hit the fan, she unwaveringly did her part to protect Bella from James - because Edward was family, and Bella was important to Edward.


    • Emmet is awesome. Him, I get. He's big, powerful and a very simple person. When James threatened Bella, his reaction was very simple - a strong desire to go and hit James until he was no longer a threat. In the end, I know he and Jasper fought James to the last, but Emmet wanted to take care of the problem suddenly, violently and all over the place. Part of it was because of the challenge of the fight, but some of it was because James was threatening Bella - and thereby threatening Edward.


    • Jasper strikes me as the wise counselor. He's wise and old for his years and grasps people almost as well as Edward and Carlisle, in that he can sense what they're feeling. I imagine that's a something of a burden at times, but I also imagine it's a blessing. Jasper stuck with Bella and tried to do his best for her, as well as being one of the two to finally kill James. He didn't let himself be separated from Alice and was equally as unwilling to let Bella into danger.


    • Alice is the quintessential little sister. Bright, cheerful, supportive, mischievous, creative and inspired. She can see the future, which is a burden in every story I've ever read or heard; she's Cassandra, though everyone listens to Cassandra. She lived in hell growing up and managed to find her humanity by being a vampire. She's the one who I think empathizes with Bella the most and realizes what Bella is feeling - but I also think, because she's seen the future and knows Bella becomes one of them, she is able to accept Bella easier. She's also more fascinated with humanity than those who remember being human. She's a character with vast potential i want to see tapped.


    • Carlisle is easily and decidedly my favorite character in the entire story. He's the warrior-poet, the ethical hunter, the doctor, the shaman and the priest - he's someone who has faced and overcome his own darkness in more than one lifetime. He's a warrior and a hunter and has age and power to go with experience and knowledge. He's the family's father, their guide, and in some ways, their savior - he gave them the good news there was a better way to live. Harder, but better - there was a way they could live without destroying other people. He is living proof that vampires - and by extension - humans, can overcome conditioning and 'nature' to become something more and better.

  • Best part of the book - Bella's sacrifice. There are three 'sacrifice scene' I love - the first when Sturm Brightblade goes up against Skie and Kitiara, the Blue Dragon Highlord in the Dragons of Winter Night. The second is when Harry Potter goes to be killed by Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. (I didn't link any of the HP stuff, because - really, if you don't know that, who are you and why are you reading my blog?).

    Bella walking into James' waiting arms to save her mother was a perfectly in character for her. She'd already sacrificed a lot for both her parents, trying to make them happy - or, in the case of hurting Charlie when she was leaving - safe. She didn't think twice about going to James - she just did it. She was terrified, but worked her way through it, outsmarted two older, much more powerful 'siblings' and escaped them to walk right into what she knew would be certain and probably painful death.

    It was well-written and was the most emotion-evoking scene in the entire book.

The Bad:
  • I didn't get to see the fight with James. Maybe it's 'cause I'm a guy or maybe it's because I like fight scenes (and the two are not one and the same, thank you very much). He hunted, mindfucked and tortured a character I rather like, and he's a sociopathic ass besides. He needed to die, and I very much wanted to see Emmett go to town on his ass. Frankly, the thought of Jasper, with his emotion-altering powers and Emmett, with his raw power, ganging up on anyone is a bit intimidating - as a pair, they'd be a near-unbeatable team. Jasper makes him feel like the pansy he really is (hunting someone who can't fight back? Really - how brave is that? Big game hunters who go after lions and tigers and the like at least face the chance of getting eaten by a smart one. But more on James in a minute.) When Jasper makes him feel weak as a kitten, Emmett kicks the unlife right out of his corpse.

    I felt more than a bit cheated not getting to see it.


  • James. At first, he's a decent enough villain. He goes from random feral blood-sucker to Big Bad in just a few paragraphs (which was well done and believable) and goes out after Bella. However, his motivations are lame. If he were just going after Bella because Edward wanted her, then he should have killed her when had the chance. If he wanted a thrilling hunt, he should have killed Bella and let Edward come after him. (I would have loved to see James against all the Cullens when they were annoyed. As much as I love a good, long drawn-out fight, I love a good pwning just as much.)

    If he wanted a good hunt, he should have kidnapped Bella and drug her across the US being pursued by the Cullens - and maybe the Moons (who are werewolves. Meyer made it obvious).

    Instead, he plays with his food like a two-bit Buffy villain and doesn't even manage to do any real torture before falling to his feral instincts (a controlled hunter would probably have had more control) and trying to suck her dry. Only, he fails - presumably because Edward and co. arrive to bitch-smack him for being dumb enough to hunt Edward's pet human. Overall? He was a disappointing, pontificating villain with all kinds of wasted and ignored potential.


  • The chase sequence. So easy. Good tension, but Meyer should - and could - have drug that out much longer and made it more interesting, especially if Edward and Bella had been on the run together - she wasted that opportunity, too.


  • Okay, coincidence is fine, but for fuck's sake - James knew Alice's origin? Unoriginal, contrived, and disappointing. Alice should have been more of a mystery for longer.

The Ugly
  • The ending. After all of that - after Bella accepted Edward for who and what he was, she wasn't upset with him about James, she still loved him unconditionally - and yet? Edward vacillates. His entire family put themselves at risk of exposure or worse, and yet - Edward can't commit. He's spent a book stalking her, being a creepy pretty-boy bloodsucker, and Bella is okay with this and still wants him. She still loves him.

    Yet, Edward lays the groundwork to leave her. Whiny emo punk bastard! He's a century old! He should be bloody well smart enough to realize what he has, and fight to keep it. How can he read the minds of so many people and not realize how unusual what he and Bella have is? Come on! Get over yourself, kiss the girl, and try to have a lovely happily ever after!

  • Bella is an emotionally stunted, painfully shy, disaster-prone girl from a dysfunctional, broken family. I doubt she was ever truly a child, but I don't think she ever really grew up, either. But why does Edward get to walk all over her?


  • Her mother. Useless creature. Enough said.

The Final Analysis
  • Edward is still a stalker. If most guys - even pale emo prettyboys - were to stalk a real girl, they'd get a pipe-wrench upside the head, a face-full of mace, and a restraining order shoved up their ass so hard they'd be able to use their teeth as a paper shredder. Yet, Edward gets away with being a stalker (listening to her talk in her sleep?!) because he's pretty and wants to suck her blood.

    Okay, so Rose (a girl from Dlair) tells me being stalked is now back in vogue (and is very romantic, thankyouverymuch), and I'm behind the times. slim_frame tells me it's only stalking when the girl says 'go away' and illidanstr makes some points about movie stalkers.

    But stalking is stalking. Men are raised from a young age to consider this behavior to be the sign of a sick and damaged mind. It's not romantic, it's illegal and up in the pantheon of sins against women somewhere near rape and public humiliation, in the same vicinity as abuse. And yet, women find this character to be the model of a romantic man.

    Is it his slavish devotion? The misty-eyes stare? Or the inability to be without her? (I thought that particular trait was lame, too.)

    Yet, Edward is not only romantic, he's sexy. I'm a little disgusted, and once again am starting to see that maybe taking women at their word when they say 'girls don't like stalking or domineering men' wasn't a good idea. Maybe if I'd done more stalking back in high school, I might have gotten laid more.


  • I get it. Meyer is writing about love at first sight. Transcendent love, that breaks down and through barriers, that builds bridges, topples obstacles, and overcomes all - the kind of love that is often considered to be Great Power. But I have to beat my suspension of disbelief into a corner of my mind with a very large stick before I can buy into it, because there's not real build-up or connection or exploration of feelings.

    Then it gets slushy, mushy and gushy.

    The lurid language and over-the-top love doesn't make or drive the story; it detracts, and gives me a headache from rolling my eyes so much.


  • All the folk mad at Harry Potter for it's supposed 'messages'? They should hate this more, because at least in Harry Potter, there wasn't a pedophiliac psychosexual stalker out to (romantically and erotically, of course) suck the main character's blood.

Overall, it wasn't bad. It wasn't good, either. It was the kind of thing I would never read again or really be in a hurry to pick up book two.

Though, there is a part of me who is invested in the character of Bella that really, really wants to know what happens next. I hate not knowing the ending, and this was just good enough I don't hate it.

So I shall read onward and borrow from someone a copy of New Moon. I might even keep blogging, if people want me to.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Twilight Travils, part II

First off - I was wrong. Bella is 17, not 14. Not that it makes the creepy century-old stalker any easier for me to swallow, but there it is.

And for those of you, who like fairey_queen will call me out on the Buffy/Angel 'ship, I'll state it up front - I was never a fan of Angel/Buffy, for many of the same reasons I'm not comfortable with Bella/Edward. The difference between Twilight and Buffy is that there was more going on in Buffy than there is in Twilight.

Now that I am significantly further in than 50 pages, I have a lot more to say - a first, I was going to try to put this into a semblance of order and make it flow, but instead, you're stuck with somewhat sequential bullet points.

(AB, if you're reading this - read all the way through it. There's lotsa good in with the bad.)

Beware spoilers below.


  • Meyer answered one of my major questions - maybe the only mystery that really stuck in my head from those first fifty pages - why did Bella move to Forks in the first place? The answer was satisfying and shed light on Bella and her dysfunctional family.

    I enjoyed the look into her mother's life and attitude - and I can see why she and Charlie didn't work out.


  • One moment in the story that stuck in my mind is when Bella realizes her father put snow chains on her tires before he went to work; that little jolt of emotion was the most real the character of Bella Swan has been to me.

    She's not very good with emotion from her parents, and in some ways, I think Charlie might be a better parent than her mother. He doesn't push her, but he obviously cares and wants to take care of her. Her mother does, too - but it sounds like Bella did more taking care of her mother than the other way around.


  • Edward. He frustrates me. First off, he's an ass. I understand that he saw something in Bella that makes her very attractive to him - I'm willing to buy into that, run with it, even. I understand his initial reaction was probably one of hunger and desire for her blood.

    What gets me is the way he acted after he saved her life.

    He was an ass. He leads Bella through this intricate little dance where he teases, frustrated and mocks her. He stops traffic so a boy can get turn down by her? He ignores her and glares at her and apologizes vaguely by turns? He drops ten-ton hints he's not normal and is a freakin' Great Mysterious Pretty Boy and expects her to just walk away?

    Not hardly. Anyone who can read minds and has lived for 100 years and has had, at any point, a functioning brain cell, would be able to tell you how to bait a pretty little girl.

    This guy is an ass. He's playing with not only Bella, but her friends - and he either has to be aware of it, or has such a case of such profound dumb that his being in high school after a century of un-life actually starts to make sense.

    But Bella has already been hooked by the mystery, and like every single teenage girl I have ever known (bar none - sorry, ladies), she goes for the asshole instead of the nice guy. Of course, Meyer writes the nice guys as utterly useless, clueless (okay, the clueless is very true to life) and generally as endearing as puppies who pee on themselves when they get excited chasing their own tails.

    To say nothing of the stalking. Why does he get to be a stalker and be a romantic hero? He's a psychosexual predatory exsanguinist unnaturally selected by parasitic evolution to be unbearably and irresistibly attractive to girls. How can Bella resist him?

    But no. He has to be a stalker. Most guys who stalked a girl the way he did would be labeled a creep, possibly get a slap and kick for their trouble, and get a restraining order. Regardless of her penchant for finding trouble and him rescuing the poor damsel in distress, the stalking bit is over the top. At that point, I stopped suspending my disbelief and started beating it back into a corner with a large blunt object.

    Seriously, though. I don't get it. Explain it to me. What is sexy and appealing and romantic about stalking the girl? Is it because she's already enthralled by him? Or is it because women actually want creepy?

    In all honestly, the only difference between Edward stalking her and say, Mike stalking her is the fact that Edward is pretty and he wants to suck her blood. Because that makes it all okay.


  • Bella is a strange child, and one I find myself strangely compelled by. She's a fearless little bookworm with almost no idea how unusual she really is, despite her inability to fit in. I wish Meyer would have given us a clearer idea what she looks like, but I'm getting the idea of a petite, pale and delicate brunette. Her constant physical inability coupled with a natural curiosity, misanthropic tendencies and a lack of patience for social games makes her endearing, even when she's being annoyingly whiny and girly.

    My favorite scene with Bella has to be her walking around Port Angeles - she's searching for books (which, I can't fault anyone for) and her naivety carries her to wander into the bad part of town. This is very belieable and very real. So is her inability to handle the group of hooligans who herd her to a nice, dark little corner to rape and rob her. (Every thug's favorite R&R). She doesn't suddenly develop a fea response (which, so far, has been absent). Instead, she switches gears and starts trying to figure out how fight back.

    You go, girl!

    That was an awesome moment. No thoughts of giving up. No thougts of surrender. No panic. Just a fierce readiness to protect herself and make sure the hooligans work for what they get. Then, she gets rescued by Edward, ruining a shining moment for the heroine. I like strong women characters who stand up for themselves - I like that she was ready to fight. I don't like it when the girls have to be rescued by the boys. I think it's because I grew up around so many strong women that 'weak' women, who don't fight their own battles, sometimes bother me.


  • Which is, I think, why I dislike the relationship with Edward. Bella is passive, there. She's a passive person overall, but in every other situation, she finds a way to exert her will over a situation. Whether cooking for Charlie, setting up all her new friends with dates, or going to Seattle instead of the dance, she' always does something about her situation. (Another reason I like the character, despite her being a Mary Sue.) That, and I don't believe in love at first sight - I do believe in connection at first sight, lust at first sight, consuming interest at first sight - but not love. So that's hard for me to swallow, too.


  • Yes, Bella is a Mary Sue. She has a pretty name (Isabella Swan? Possible reference to the Ugly Duckling aside, the name is a Mary Sue name.), has guys falling all over her (almost literally) and the circumstances are such that she is the center of the world from the get go - and not just because she's a 1st-person narrator. There are things that happen (Edward not able to read her mind) that seem to happen Because Bella Is Special.

    Now, that said - I have no intrinsic objection to Mary Sues as long as they're written well, which Bella seems to be. I just wanted to point it out.


  • If Bella is so accident/disaster prone in Podunk Nowhere, how did she survive Phoenix, Arizona? And why is the 100-year-old vampire in high school?


  • I want to meet/read more about Edward's family, especially Alice. I want to see the dynamic between them all, because I want to know how his relationship with Bella is affecting his relationship with his family.


  • The writing is good enough to keep me reading, but the storytelling is a bit bouncy - some of that may be the 1st-person narration, but a lot of it has to do with things like the random boy she sorta-but-not-quite remembers telling her exactly what she wants/needs to know exactly at the right time. I can buy her believing Edward is a vampire as easily as she does because of the way the character is written so far - and she saw him stop a van about make roadkill pizza out of her with his bare hands. But still - the scene with Jacob was too contrived. Again, I had to beat back my disbelief with a now well-used stick.


Overall, I'm enjoying it, despite myself. I'm invested enough in the characters (especially Bella) that I want to know what happens and how it happens. I'll be done with the book by the end of the week, and if the ending doens't leave me with literary blue balls, I'll probably want to read the second book in fairly short order.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Twilight Travails, part I

At the request of many folk, not in the least tn_teacher, fancifulreality and, finally, (though by no means least), fairey_queen, I have started to read Twilight by current literary superstar Stephanie Meyer.

(I also promised my boss, AB, that I would read this book.)

Since so many folk have expressed interest in my reactions to this book, I thought I would blog said reactions for posterity and to satiate their curiosity. Also, because I need to start being disciplined in my blogging again, and this is a good way to start.

So.

I borrowed the book from fairey_queen this morning, and sat down to read it this afternoon. I've made it almost to page 50 and my favorite character is the truck. Bella is a slightly emo 14-year-old girl, and having never been any sort of 14-year-old girl m'self, I can't say she's someone I really identify with. Some of her issues, I jibe with: alienation, being left out, etc - but being stalked by the puppy-boy Mike and the painfully geeky Eric is more amusing than anything else.

I feel almost bad laughing at Bella's problems, because it just seems mean.

But that is, I think, the root of the problem - Meyer has created a very real person and despite my not getting all the trauma of being a 14-year-old girl (and to hear the tales I've heard, it's quite traumatic), she is still a sympathetic character whom I find myself mildly interested in - though not yet invested in. So far, Edward isn't all that interesting, even knowing he's a vampire. Even though it's obvious his reaction to Bella was stronger than he expected/wanted, and doesn't quite know what to do with it.

Like I said, so far, the best character is the truck.

There is one part of this that's hard for me to get past. Edward is over a hundred years old - and is a 17-year-old boy who falls in love with an 14-year-old girl? A bit creepy much. I'm not sure I see the romance as much as I see a rather twisted form of pedophilia.

The jury is still out on this one.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Star Wars

Two blogs in two days? It's been awhile since I did that, but why not?

Also, for those of you who are not fans of livejournal and prefer blogger, I'm starting to mirror my blog at jayiin.blogspot.com now that I finally have my issues wtihi blogger worked out. I still prefer LJ because I like the flist system and I'm comfortable here, having been here for so long. Blogger is less of a personal thing and more of a public thing, so any time I have a 'friends only' post it will be here.

On that note, JH - I know you're watching this blog now, and if you want access to the friends only stuff, talk to me and we'll figure out a way.

Tonight, I saw the new Star Wars: Clone Wars movie. I loved it; it was fun. I came away with no greater revelations about life, the universe and everything else. There was truth there, if you cared to pick it out, but I've been a fan of Star Wars for having bits of truth in it. *tongue firmly in cheek, for those who know what I'm talking about.*

That's it, really. The movie was fun. It was full of spacefights, lightsaber duels, snarky characters and opportune one-liners mixed with some decent CGI, enjoyable music that was a refreshing deviation from the normal Star Wars fare without being too far off what I expected, and some fun new characters. Exuberant displays of derring-do, half-baked plans, running gags, and connections to all six other Star Wars movies filled the moments were the order of the day.

The animation was a 3D version of the style used for the Clone Wars animated shorts - and frankly, that's what this was. A Star Wars cartoon movie. It was not a 'true' Star Wars movie like the two trilogies. It's a movie based on a cartoon series. Take it for more than that, you'll be disappointed. Go in for flash, bang and boom with a flair and flourish, you'll have fun. Expect a deep plot, new revelations, or a redemption of the prequels everyone hates on (which, I'm almost fond of) and you'll walk away, bitter and disappointed in what's really just for fun.

There was no plot, the storytelling was dictated purely by the action, and the only characters who got developed more than they did in the other six movies were Anakin and his erstwhile Padawan (who was pretty much the most entertaining Star Wars character ever - but she reminded me of a Buffy character, which explains why I'm endeared to her.) It's formuliac at best:


  • Dooku/Sidious hatch nefarious plot to bring down the Republic/Jedi

  • Anakin and Obi-Wan are the only ones who can save the day. (We're the only ship in the quadrant again?) But first, they need to be rescued themselves.

  • Intro snarky teenage Padawan Obi-Wan and Yoda trick Anakin into having. Commence derring-do where Anakin and Padawan bond through snarky reparte and mutual life-saving.

  • Obi-Wan and Anakin + snarky teenage female Padawan in skimpy outfit run off to save the day.

  • More derring-do. Padawan in reckless. Baby Hutt burps green cloud.

  • Anakin is a badass pilot. Obi-wan is a badass swordsman.

  • More lightsaber fighting and amazing flying. Anakin is moody and has anger issues. Somehow, everything comes back to Tatooine. Again.

  • Padme does something silly and Threepio saves her. There is a flaming gay Hutt with a southern accent. Palpatine is cunning and manipulative.

  • Anakin fails to learn importan personal lesson and is reckless, almost costing the Good Guys the Big Win.

  • Snarky Padawan saves the day at the last moment before horrific violence occurs.

  • Heroic last denounment. Padme manages to steal the spotlight.


On the bright side, there is no horrible mushy dialogue, and we see Anakin as a leader and as a teacher. We see his troops trust and respect him, and we learn more about who he is, other than a whiny emokid.

Overall, it was fun.

Of course, the fact I liked it means it's probably a horrible movie.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

If the shoe fits...

I was gonna write about fanfiction and why I write it as opposed to something more publishable. I was gonna talk about what a failure at life I am and how I need to find a way to fix that before I end up a useless blob wasting away and sucking others dry.

But your regularly scheduled whine has been delayed so I can talk about politics.

I don't often comment on politics anymore. In part, because my views are very different than most of the people on my flist. Also in part because my views are random and selfish enough to not really be all that important.

But yesterday, something one of John McCain's staffers said was brought to my attention, and like so many other gamers and geeks out there, I have something to say about it. Sure, I'm following a trend, but I suppose if I bathe in bleach afterwards, it might not be catching.

First off, a bit of background. The campaign blog entry in question was not written by John McCain. It's even an open question as to whether or not the man has even read it or knows how much it affects a relatively small percent of his possible voters.

The blog was apparently written by Michael Goldfarb in response to accusations John McCain plagarized Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn when telling a story about his time as a prisoner of war. It was a short post, but only one paragraph really matters to me.
It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowdto disparage a fellow countryman's memory of war from the comfort ofmom's basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude torespect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf ofothers. John McCain has often said he witnessed a thousand acts ofbravery while he was imprisoned, and though not every one has beensubmitted into the public record, they are remembered by the men whowere there (one such only recently reported by Karl Rove though it escaped mention in any of Senator McCain'sbooks). But as Swindle said, this is a "desperate group of peopletrying to make something out of nothing."
As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short, as Goldfarb has already posted an apology somewhere. I can find it quoted a few places, but I can't find the original source.
If my comments caused any harm or hurt to the hard working Americanswho play Dungeons & Dragons, I apologize. This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity,intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.
--Michael Goldfarb

Great. He said he's sorry. I'll get to that in a bit. First, I want to talk about the initial statement, and then I'll explain why I think the apology doesn't do much but put a band-aid on an already deep wound.

Let's be honest, folks. To those of us who are gamers, who have played D&D a long time or have made it an integral part of our lives, the same way others do with sports, TV shows, video games or even gardening, this is a big deal. To me, someone who works in a gaming store, this is Big News. We had someone come into Dragon's Lair and video a heartfelt and painfully amateurish viral video directed to McCain lambasting and guilting him for the comment his staffer made.

Yeah, okay. 'painfully amateurish' was harsh, but I don't think a video talking about how D&D and the gaming community at large is a wonderful thing is really going to matter in this debate, because the very fact the comment was made shows how little the 'big wigs' think of our community and our hobby.

That's pretty much what I want to talk about, actually. Perception. To continue the trend of being a geek, I think I'll quote Obi-Wan Kenobi here. "Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our certain point of view."

Like I said, this really doesn't matter in the long run. It really doesn't matter to most people and probably won't affect the outcome of the election in any measurable way - nor will anyone think to poll people on whether or not someone voted for McCain because one of his staffers regressed to frat boy/high school jock mode and insulted D&D.

Wait. What did I just say? Did I just comment on that kind of comment being something heard from a certain kind of person? I did, didn't I? Bad me. Stereotyping and all that. I'll feel bad about it later. I might even write a half-hearted apology for it in another post where I use rote language to apologize to a group of people whose lifestyle, hobbies, attitudes and ideals I just can't seem to understand.

It's a strange thing, that Goldfarb singled out D&D for his comment. I've followed the links in his post to other blogs, but I can't find anything that points to D&D players as being the source of the plagarism accusations. It might be that some of the bloggers who made the accusations are *gasp* D&D players!

Why bring a person's hobby into it? What does being a D&D player have to do with accusing a presidental candidate of plagarising a disgruntled and grumpy Russian revolutionary literary hero?

I don't know. I reckon some folk out there have theories that might be right. I have a theory, as always, but it's not a nice one.

My father, a surprisingly wise man, often tells me: "if the shoe fits, wear it," when I start to get paranoid people are upset with me. If I really have done something, own up to it - wear the shoe. So what size shoe is Goldfarb's zing?

The attack in Goldfarb's statement was a direct one, and his targets were well-defined: the 'pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd.' Pretty narrow group of folk. So, because I think Obama's an elitist snob with hardly an idea of what I, as a professional geek/aspiring writer want from a president who happens to love playing D&D that I'm not included in his statement? Or because I don't live in my mother's basement?

What about geeks who live in their father's basement? Or their step-cousin's great uncle's best friend's grandmother's basement?

(Oddly enough, in 20 years of gaming, I've never gamed in a basement, let alone lived in one. Nor do I see the stigma there - basements are usually warm/dry or cooler than the blistering Texas heat, insulated against sound, and isolated enough to game in. Folk who just fuck their girl or play video games or air hockey or fooze ball or just get mind-blisteringly drunk in their respective basements don't get the stigma just playing with some pen, paper, dice and imagination do. But, as usual, I digress...)

I think Goldfarb's accusation is a pretty big shoe, because of the qualifier of 'Dungeons & Dragons'. By qualifying his statement with 'the dungeons and dragons crowd,' Goldfarb is implying there's something about D&D gamers that cause them to not respect the sacrifices others make on their behalf. (And I am now spending a willpower point not to make a cheap gamers joke.)

Why D&D? Because Pat Pulling once wrote a scathing article about how D&D is evil? Or because Jack Chick had a tract about how D&D gamers can't separate fantasy from reality and really try to cast spells? Or because we've gotten lots of bad press over the years?

Why not football players or air hockey enthusiasts or snail racers? Why not underwater basket weavers?

Perception and stereotypes. Gamers are the unwashed masses who are out of touch with the world; who live in fantasy and leech of hardworking americans while they while their hours away pretending to be something and someone they're not. Because gamers dress funny, smell bad and singlehandedly support the fast food and junk food industries slowly destroying America's collective health.

It's okay to make fun of gamers. Everyone does! It's just like eating popcorn at the movies, hot dogs at baseball games and coping a feel at a cheesy school dance. It has tradition behind it! Hell, as one of my co-workers pointed out, gamers make fun of themselves as much or more than everyone else makes fun of us. We rarely take ourselves seriously - mostly because our hobby often involves looking and sounding ridiculous, so we learn that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're missing the joke.

I could list off famous D&D gamers, or dig a bit and find a list of soldiers who are now game designers. I could talk about the cultural ramifications and ripples from D&D. I could talk about the macrocosm of society that walks through the doors of Dragon's Lair every day, but it really wouldn't matter, because, in the end, Goldfarb's comments won't mean a damn thing.

That's the sad part. That's the part that makes me want to write this, that makes me want to vote against McCain. Because one of his staffers got to sit behind a keyboard and gun down an entire sub-culture, call a whole group of folk cowards and worse, and do so right after my boss - a wonderful woman I have incredible respect for - a pro-Obama D&D player, ran a successful Gaming for the Troops event to get gaming supplies to overseas soldiers via the auspices of the USO.

Not many people are going to think about how that comment might have hurt internet-savvy D&D playing kids, or what it might make them think of politics, politicians, or even the military. Not many people want to think about all the gamers who are too used to that kind of attack who are just going wearily sigh, make a joke or three, and move on, because they know nothing they say or feel or do or want is going to change the situation.

If he had disrespected athletes or artists or craftsmen, people would be thinking hard about what those remarks represented instead of dismissing them. What really scares me? Most gamers, geeks and nerds - no matter what makes them a gamer, geek or nerd - are going to dismiss what Goldfarb said. After all, why does it matter?

Michael Goldfarb got to do what lots of high school bullies would love to do: he got to make fun of a bunch of geeks in a national forum and get away with it. Just like a high school bully, he got his hand slapped, got to stand in front of the class and say 'I'm sorry I made you cry," and snicker as he sat back down at his desk, high-fiving his buddies when the teacher had their back turned. Worse yet? Like that high school bully, Goldfarb used his insults to direct attention away from the real issue: nothing he says can convince people McCain didn't plagarize. Either people believe the story John McCain told, or they don't. Either they believe he plagarized, or they believe he didn't. It was quite neatly done, becuase Goldfarb was able to target the one group of people no one would stand up for.

No one with any 'importance' or clout is going to stand up and tell him what he said was wrong. No major newspaper is going to tell him he was inconsiderate or rude. Bloggers might, but everyone knows bloggers are just D&D playing geeks who can't write for real news media.

Obama's people might tell him that Obama supporters recognize and respect the sacrifices soldiers make, but I doubt Barack Obama is going to make a statement about how McCain's campaign shouldn't pick on a group of people because their hobby involves slaying make-believe monsters. Why should he? He has a Harvard law degree and solve the world's problems with pretty speeches and viral advertising.

A lot of people are going to say I'm over thinking this. I'm taking it personally or I'm taking it too seriously. That Goldfarb's opinion of my hobby shouldn't be a factor in whether or not I vote for John McCain. Maybe not. But maybe his reaction to what Goldfarb said should be. I think I should take it seriously. I think anyone who considers themselves a 'D&D gamer' should think about this and take it seriously, because of what it represents.

It represents a fundamental disrespect towards people who imagine life as much as they live it.

Edgar Allen Poe once said: "Those who dream by day are aware of many things which escape those who dream only by night." I think he's right. I think those of us who seek out daydreams and fantasies and strive to give our lives one or two more layers of depth - those of us who choose to revel in story and rejoice in myth and legend and try to become part of those legends have something worth respecting.

The shoe Michael Goldfarb held out doesn't fit, because I know myself - I know gamers - better than to think we dismiss the sacrifices of the soldiers who fight, live and die to protect the ideals we get to live every day. I know a lot of gamers try to understand what that kind of commitment - what that kind of sacrifice - means. Even if we never really do grasp it, I think most of us respect it. Instead, I have a shoe for John McCain and Barack Obama.

If you value everyone and truly think you are the leader who guide America for the next four or eight years, then show that you care about and value everyone, no matter what poorly portrayed mass media high school stereotypes cling to gamers, and stand up at a podium or sit down at a keyboard and prove it. Really apologize for what Goldfarb said or really counter it. If every person (every vote) is important - if, as Barack Obama has said - it is the individual people who will bring hope and change - then say something to the quiet minority no one likes to stand up for.

I hope the shoe fits, and I hope one of them wears it.

/jayiin