If the shoe fits...

I was gonna write about fanfiction and why I write it as opposed to something more publishable. I was gonna talk about what a failure at life I am and how I need to find a way to fix that before I end up a useless blob wasting away and sucking others dry.

But your regularly scheduled whine has been delayed so I can talk about politics.

I don't often comment on politics anymore. In part, because my views are very different than most of the people on my flist. Also in part because my views are random and selfish enough to not really be all that important.

But yesterday, something one of John McCain's staffers said was brought to my attention, and like so many other gamers and geeks out there, I have something to say about it. Sure, I'm following a trend, but I suppose if I bathe in bleach afterwards, it might not be catching.

First off, a bit of background. The campaign blog entry in question was not written by John McCain. It's even an open question as to whether or not the man has even read it or knows how much it affects a relatively small percent of his possible voters.

The blog was apparently written by Michael Goldfarb in response to accusations John McCain plagarized Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn when telling a story about his time as a prisoner of war. It was a short post, but only one paragraph really matters to me.

It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowdto disparage a fellow countryman's memory of war from the comfort ofmom's basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude torespect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf ofothers. John McCain has often said he witnessed a thousand acts ofbravery while he was imprisoned, and though not every one has beensubmitted into the public record, they are remembered by the men whowere there (one such only recently reported by Karl Rove though it escaped mention in any of Senator McCain'sbooks). But as Swindle said, this is a "desperate group of peopletrying to make something out of nothing."

As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short, as Goldfarb has already posted an apology somewhere. I can find it quoted a few places, but I can't find the original source.

If my comments caused any harm or hurt to the hard working Americanswho play Dungeons & Dragons, I apologize. This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity,intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.
--Michael Goldfarb

Great. He said he's sorry. I'll get to that in a bit. First, I want to talk about the initial statement, and then I'll explain why I think the apology doesn't do much but put a band-aid on an already deep wound.

Let's be honest, folks. To those of us who are gamers, who have played D&D a long time or have made it an integral part of our lives, the same way others do with sports, TV shows, video games or even gardening, this is a big deal. To me, someone who works in a gaming store, this is Big News. We had someone come into Dragon's Lair and video a heartfelt and painfully amateurish viral video directed to McCain lambasting and guilting him for the comment his staffer made.

Yeah, okay. 'painfully amateurish' was harsh, but I don't think a video talking about how D&D and the gaming community at large is a wonderful thing is really going to matter in this debate, because the very fact the comment was made shows how little the 'big wigs' think of our community and our hobby.

That's pretty much what I want to talk about, actually. Perception. To continue the trend of being a geek, I think I'll quote Obi-Wan Kenobi here. "Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our certain point of view."

Like I said, this really doesn't matter in the long run. It really doesn't matter to most people and probably won't affect the outcome of the election in any measurable way - nor will anyone think to poll people on whether or not someone voted for McCain because one of his staffers regressed to frat boy/high school jock mode and insulted D&D.

Wait. What did I just say? Did I just comment on that kind of comment being something heard from a certain kind of person? I did, didn't I? Bad me. Stereotyping and all that. I'll feel bad about it later. I might even write a half-hearted apology for it in another post where I use rote language to apologize to a group of people whose lifestyle, hobbies, attitudes and ideals I just can't seem to understand.

It's a strange thing, that Goldfarb singled out D&D for his comment. I've followed the links in his post to other blogs, but I can't find anything that points to D&D players as being the source of the plagarism accusations. It might be that some of the bloggers who made the accusations are *gasp* D&D players!

Why bring a person's hobby into it? What does being a D&D player have to do with accusing a presidental candidate of plagarising a disgruntled and grumpy Russian revolutionary literary hero?

I don't know. I reckon some folk out there have theories that might be right. I have a theory, as always, but it's not a nice one.

My father, a surprisingly wise man, often tells me: "if the shoe fits, wear it," when I start to get paranoid people are upset with me. If I really have done something, own up to it - wear the shoe. So what size shoe is Goldfarb's zing?

The attack in Goldfarb's statement was a direct one, and his targets were well-defined: the 'pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd.' Pretty narrow group of folk. So, because I think Obama's an elitist snob with hardly an idea of what I, as a professional geek/aspiring writer want from a president who happens to love playing D&D that I'm not included in his statement? Or because I don't live in my mother's basement?

What about geeks who live in their father's basement? Or their step-cousin's great uncle's best friend's grandmother's basement?

(Oddly enough, in 20 years of gaming, I've never gamed in a basement, let alone lived in one. Nor do I see the stigma there - basements are usually warm/dry or cooler than the blistering Texas heat, insulated against sound, and isolated enough to game in. Folk who just fuck their girl or play video games or air hockey or fooze ball or just get mind-blisteringly drunk in their respective basements don't get the stigma just playing with some pen, paper, dice and imagination do. But, as usual, I digress...)

I think Goldfarb's accusation is a pretty big shoe, because of the qualifier of 'Dungeons & Dragons'. By qualifying his statement with 'the dungeons and dragons crowd,' Goldfarb is implying there's something about D&D gamers that cause them to not respect the sacrifices others make on their behalf. (And I am now spending a willpower point not to make a cheap gamers joke.)

Why D&D? Because Pat Pulling once wrote a scathing article about how D&D is evil? Or because Jack Chick had a tract about how D&D gamers can't separate fantasy from reality and really try to cast spells? Or because we've gotten lots of bad press over the years?

Why not football players or air hockey enthusiasts or snail racers? Why not underwater basket weavers?

Perception and stereotypes. Gamers are the unwashed masses who are out of touch with the world; who live in fantasy and leech of hardworking americans while they while their hours away pretending to be something and someone they're not. Because gamers dress funny, smell bad and singlehandedly support the fast food and junk food industries slowly destroying America's collective health.

It's okay to make fun of gamers. Everyone does! It's just like eating popcorn at the movies, hot dogs at baseball games and coping a feel at a cheesy school dance. It has tradition behind it! Hell, as one of my co-workers pointed out, gamers make fun of themselves as much or more than everyone else makes fun of us. We rarely take ourselves seriously - mostly because our hobby often involves looking and sounding ridiculous, so we learn that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're missing the joke.

I could list off famous D&D gamers, or dig a bit and find a list of soldiers who are now game designers. I could talk about the cultural ramifications and ripples from D&D. I could talk about the macrocosm of society that walks through the doors of Dragon's Lair every day, but it really wouldn't matter, because, in the end, Goldfarb's comments won't mean a damn thing.

That's the sad part. That's the part that makes me want to write this, that makes me want to vote against McCain. Because one of his staffers got to sit behind a keyboard and gun down an entire sub-culture, call a whole group of folk cowards and worse, and do so right after my boss - a wonderful woman I have incredible respect for - a pro-Obama D&D player, ran a successful Gaming for the Troops event to get gaming supplies to overseas soldiers via the auspices of the USO.

Not many people are going to think about how that comment might have hurt internet-savvy D&D playing kids, or what it might make them think of politics, politicians, or even the military. Not many people want to think about all the gamers who are too used to that kind of attack who are just going wearily sigh, make a joke or three, and move on, because they know nothing they say or feel or do or want is going to change the situation.

If he had disrespected athletes or artists or craftsmen, people would be thinking hard about what those remarks represented instead of dismissing them. What really scares me? Most gamers, geeks and nerds - no matter what makes them a gamer, geek or nerd - are going to dismiss what Goldfarb said. After all, why does it matter?

Michael Goldfarb got to do what lots of high school bullies would love to do: he got to make fun of a bunch of geeks in a national forum and get away with it. Just like a high school bully, he got his hand slapped, got to stand in front of the class and say 'I'm sorry I made you cry," and snicker as he sat back down at his desk, high-fiving his buddies when the teacher had their back turned. Worse yet? Like that high school bully, Goldfarb used his insults to direct attention away from the real issue: nothing he says can convince people McCain didn't plagarize. Either people believe the story John McCain told, or they don't. Either they believe he plagarized, or they believe he didn't. It was quite neatly done, becuase Goldfarb was able to target the one group of people no one would stand up for.

No one with any 'importance' or clout is going to stand up and tell him what he said was wrong. No major newspaper is going to tell him he was inconsiderate or rude. Bloggers might, but everyone knows bloggers are just D&D playing geeks who can't write for real news media.

Obama's people might tell him that Obama supporters recognize and respect the sacrifices soldiers make, but I doubt Barack Obama is going to make a statement about how McCain's campaign shouldn't pick on a group of people because their hobby involves slaying make-believe monsters. Why should he? He has a Harvard law degree and solve the world's problems with pretty speeches and viral advertising.

A lot of people are going to say I'm over thinking this. I'm taking it personally or I'm taking it too seriously. That Goldfarb's opinion of my hobby shouldn't be a factor in whether or not I vote for John McCain. Maybe not. But maybe his reaction to what Goldfarb said should be. I think I should take it seriously. I think anyone who considers themselves a 'D&D gamer' should think about this and take it seriously, because of what it represents.

It represents a fundamental disrespect towards people who imagine life as much as they live it.

Edgar Allen Poe once said: "Those who dream by day are aware of many things which escape those who dream only by night." I think he's right. I think those of us who seek out daydreams and fantasies and strive to give our lives one or two more layers of depth - those of us who choose to revel in story and rejoice in myth and legend and try to become part of those legends have something worth respecting.

The shoe Michael Goldfarb held out doesn't fit, because I know myself - I know gamers - better than to think we dismiss the sacrifices of the soldiers who fight, live and die to protect the ideals we get to live every day. I know a lot of gamers try to understand what that kind of commitment - what that kind of sacrifice - means. Even if we never really do grasp it, I think most of us respect it. Instead, I have a shoe for John McCain and Barack Obama.

If you value everyone and truly think you are the leader who guide America for the next four or eight years, then show that you care about and value everyone, no matter what poorly portrayed mass media high school stereotypes cling to gamers, and stand up at a podium or sit down at a keyboard and prove it. Really apologize for what Goldfarb said or really counter it. If every person (every vote) is important - if, as Barack Obama has said - it is the individual people who will bring hope and change - then say something to the quiet minority no one likes to stand up for.

I hope the shoe fits, and I hope one of them wears it.

/jayiin